Good evening. Sorry I don't have anything to share with you today. I figured I should at least post something so everyone knows I'm alive.
I could definitely be better, but I am alive. I just haven't quite been myself for a while, don't really care at this point about finding my way back because the person I was failed miserably at so many things, parenting being the most important.
There are just about as many dust bunnies and cob webs in my craft area as there are on my website. lol. I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life. Where I was at, where I am, where I was going. Evaluating the importance of everything that was important to me, have come to determine that those things were only important to me and hold no significance to those who are / were close to me.
On the good side of things, books have been filling most of my time. I have spent no time on the computer (800 email messages have piled up so far), no crafting, no entertaining company, no nothing other than reading. I've found that the more I read and get into books the less I think or dwell on my own lame existence. It has been a nice interruption.
I'm sure as soon as things blow over with Lauren and I'm able to see Dylan again, my disability comes through, and we get the house finished, things won't feel or look so bleak. It's just too many things at once and dealing with unbearable physical pain as well, its messing with my noggin.
I assure you, in time I will be back up & fighting in my familiar form. Until then, please be patient with me and understand if I avoid communication with any of you via phone or in person, please don't internalize and think that you've done something to upset me. I also know that the negativity of this post will upset some of you because it's not positive and uplifting. I'm not going to lie and say that things are just great and I'll be pissy if I want to! :)
Fore those who have stuck it out through this entire post: X's & O's and thank you's for being there for me.
2 days ago